Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize