your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
