I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
