i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
