Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
