Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
