I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
