her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
