it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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