no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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