She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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