What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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