i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Randomize
