Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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