oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
