y did u give ur computer a hand job?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
