I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
