There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
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