She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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