but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
