We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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