fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
