trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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