Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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