So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
