That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
