Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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