I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
