Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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