so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
