She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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