but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
