Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
