Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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