The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
