I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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