Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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