I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize