i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
