It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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