ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
just found out that she named her cat after me.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
It's shark week go big or go home
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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