gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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