the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
