eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
