Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
