Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
