Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
