I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Randomize
