I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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