You're a womanizer and a bitch.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
