That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
