he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
