I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize