It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
