yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
