Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
