i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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