Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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