I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize