Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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