I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
