HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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