My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
