Your face is a jimmy john
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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