Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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