I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
