I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
